True Happiness Part -1 (Teachings to Change Lives)

నిజమైన సుఖం-1

I want to be happy all the time; I don't want to be unhappy at all". This is the common perception as human organism, we all have. 

How I can be happy? 

Why I am unhappy even though I have money, fame and every thing in life? 

Does more wealth will make me happy for ever? 

These questions are lingering frequently in our daily lives. Who can not have these kinds of questions in their minds at one time or the other? We might think that "If I can get this job, or meet my soul mate or marrying one, if I can win a lottery, inherit or earn lots of money. This could be a common thinking in human minds. Is there any thing wrong with this kind of thinking?

Let us say that we have all the answers. Some one was able to acquire all these so called perfect things in the life but still there is some thing lacking, which makes you unhappy, apathetic, anhedonic and indifferent to all the materialistic things that you already have at that time. If we talk to people who supposedly have everything, they say that they are also unhappy and they say that money is not everything. So what should we do and this is very confusing.

Understand unhappiness

Before we talk about happiness, we should really understand what unhappiness is. 

Is unhappiness, not being happy, being sad or feeling pain, sorrow and just what ever makes us feel uncomfortable. 

This could be defined differently and it is different for different people. 

Unhappiness is a derivative of happiness and happiness is the root cause of unhappiness. Because our mind accepted certain experiences which were acquired through our senses, mind, ego and intellect. The society plays a major role in reinforcing these so called experiences. Society told us about good, bad, poor, wealthy, truth, untruth and lots of dualistic attitudes. The environment around us puts so much pressure on the mind and creates conflict more times than not. Since the birth of the child, until the death we are bounded by these societal norms and perceptions. We are caught in this vicious cycle of likes and dislikes with

out much relief. Some people are more conscious of society than others. Some might say that they don't care about the society but they are still unhappy. There is no simple answer to these questions. Even when we want to choose between two good things, there is conflict and this leads to excitement, which leads us into unhappiness. This is sad that we are unhappy even in the mist of happiness. Do we really love happiness or we want to be victims and like playing this role as a victim. Do we want to feel sorry for ourselves and we want others feel sorry for us?

Psychology of unhappiness

When a child is born, the parents go through so much of emotion. Mother goes through nine months of patience carrying the child and when baby is delivered you can imagine what she goes through. Even though there is so much pain involved in the process, the ultimate truth is happiness. Why is this different, did we learn to look at this whole process differently? If we think crying is a sign of unhappiness, when the newborn cries, we rejoice. This event can teach us so much of insight in to the science of happiness. 

Everything thing in this universe, including happiness and unhappiness, have a beginning and an end. We always want unhappiness to end but not the happiness. This is the reality of life. If we do not realize this, we will be unhappy all the time. Once we are happy, we worry about loosing it, instead of enjoying it. This is the psychological quality that human mind goes through most of the time. This is one of the real causes of unhappiness.

We take our lives granted with out realizing that darkness will set in as soon as the day ends. Where there is day, there should be night also. We can not just worry about the oncoming darkness and stop enjoying the day. When we look at the solar system, what is night? Why we are able to see the darkness? This is because of the existence of Sun only. Otherwise every thing will be pitch-black and you won't be able to see even the darkness. If we can consider Sun as happiness and darkness as unhappiness, we are able to recognize the unhappiness because we had the experience of happiness that is the "Day". So this concept can educate us to understand certain principles behind this duality. 

There is a difference between the darkness out side and in a room where there is no Sun light, it is pitch black. You can not see anything. This could be the situation in people who are depressed. For them the happiness also does not matter and this is called anhedonia. This is where you need professional help to come out of the clutches of severe depression. This is where people do not see the light at the end of tunnel and there is no silver lining to these dark clouds. But this state is easily treatable than addressing just unhappiness alone.

Our attitudes and personalities could complicate this journey to happiness. We need intense training and knowledge about ourselves in training the mind to be in this path and to sustain in this state. It is so difficult to unwind the erroneous concepts, notions and impressions that are strongly imprinted in our minds. Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.

OM SAI RAM!